Tuesday, 6 August 2019

I don't believe it was raining

“I don’t believe it was raining” was a reply to me posting this video on FB; “It’s not rained here all day and we’re only a few miles away”.
This is happening to every one of us every day - perhaps not when there’s video evidence to prove the validity of what’s being said - but certainly in everyday conversations.
We use our own life experience, values, beliefs and behaviours to judge the efficacy of what the other person is saying. Or they use theirs to judge ours.
If the judging party(s) stays unconscious to this pattern it can lead to very fixed mindsets and a lack of movement or progress in situations.
The key for me is remembering that passion in another that we don’t understand is often the flag that we’ve both got data we’re using to make our assessment that the other person doesn’t have access to.
I remember a colleague resisting very strenuously a suggestion I had made. I said “I can tell by your tonality that you feel very strongly about this but currently I don’t have the data to agree with you - help me to understand what I’m missing”.
What strategies do you adopt to help understand what you’re missing?

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