Dark night of the soul on the mountain

“I’ve had enough, I want more of this” I said “You’re usually controlling what I do. No stretching. No opportunity to try new things. I want out of the relationship.”

Except I could never leave. However much I wanted new adventures, they could never be achieved without the other.

Some might call me a coward, others bullied, and yet, I could never live without them.

These words were screeched on a mountain whilst I was on a workshop in Cumbria. A workshop people attended in order to realise their potential, to let go of all that was holding them back. A safe space in which to explore the limits they were imposing on their life.

The sun was shining as we got into the minibus and journeyed to the bottom of the mountain. We’d spent the day planning the route, preparing the equipment, and practicing elements of the process we needed to follow – we were ready.

As evening approached we disembarked from the minibus, and looked up the mountain just as dark clouds started to appear.

Undeterred we set off in intervals, each alone with our own thoughts and feelings about what lay ahead.

By sunset some of my companions had made it to the top of the mountain. The rest of us were like the lights on a Christmas tree spiralling down the mountain – each finding our one solitary and safe space from which to do our work. Work that involved staying overnight on the mountain.

The wind and rain crept in as darkness descended. Within minutes the sheets of paper, providing details of the ceremony that I was to undertake, had been whipped from my hands by the wind.

I was alone.

Expect I wasn’t alone.

The other was there too.

That dark night of the soul was when my mind and my body finally had a mother of all arguments. No ceremonial words, no technology, no comfort to distract. Just a mountain and my mind and body, with soul as referee, to negotiate a new way of being. My body pleading to be heard by my controlling mind, asking to be able to explore new routes, heights and summits.

As the sun rose, and I walked down the mountain the next morning, a truce had been achieved with the promise of fully embracing bigger mountains in the future.

Getting your Head above the Parapet

Words have power and yet sometimes we need to engage the body to fully bring what we know we need to do into conscious awareness.

I've been saying I need to put my head above the parapet for months but not doing anything different. So in order to try to shift the situation I enacted putting my head above the parapet and, as you'll see in this vlog, was surprised with what I discovered.

Other sayings enacted in the recently published book Can't see the wood for the trees include stuck in a rut, head in the sand, can't see the wood for the trees and making mountains our of molehills. 

Remember words have power and if you can enact your words into reality I'd strongly suggest you try it, and let me know how you got on too.

Taking action to see the wood for the trees

Whilst thinking of a situation you’d like more clarity on or for it to be transformed consider which of these 6 images are you drawn to?

Once you’ve decided, see below for some coaching questions from nature - ie different questions from each image. Just answer the questions for the image you picked, or explore them all, or think about what insight or questions you imagine the image might be asking you.

Image 1: What can you do now to bring more joy and beauty into your life, to allow the mist to clear? Where are the green shoots of opportunity showing themselves?

Image 2: In what way have you isolated yourself from others, How can you become more connected with humanity and the planet? Where is your tribe? How can you spend more time with your tribe?

Image 3: What can you do today to be more grounded? Whether that’s via physical movement, the foods you eat, people you spend time with, books you read, programmes you watch or visualisation used in your daily meditation. What one action in the past has enabled you to take your head out of the clouds and ether, and to come back down to Earth and take part in daily human life?

Image 4: What one thing (however small) can you do today to move you towards your goal? No getting lost in the confusion - just one small action. No excuses. No delay nor further procrastination. No ifs buts cants. One action you can take now. Nothing more is needed until you’ve taken that one action.

Image 5: Do you need to zoom in or out - ie are you focusing too much on the detail and not enough on the big picture, or vice versa? How can you release the current perspective to shift to the other?

Image 6: What needs to be cut down? What is no longer serving you and your goal? How can that be chopped down and released from your life?

As you reflect on your answers to these coaching questions from nature what action can you take today to get more clarity or to make progress on the situation?  

This is just one example of how Landscaping Your Life uses nature as your coach to get you back on track in your life. Explore this blog for more posts sharing many different tools using nature to get you back on track.

Of course you could also buy the recently published Can't see the wood for the trees which shares many Landscaping Your Life tools and applies them to well known sayings we use when we're stuck e.g stuck in a rut, can't see the wood for the trees, up the creek without a paddle, going round in circles, missed the tide, out on a limb, treading water, like a fish out of water and so on.  

One reader recently described it as a first aid kit for the mind after simply reading one chapter and following the process outlined there.