Are you finding life an uphill struggle?

This post has moved to my new website - see more on how to get back on track when life feels like an uphill struggle here.

When you've got a lawnmover everything is a lawn

When we only have a lawn mower everything looks like a lawn. I might have mixed my metaphors a little here and borrowed from the hammer/nail analogy but when using gardening as a metaphor for our lives it begs the question what tools do we have in our potting shed, and which are most appropriate to use in the situation at hand? After all a spade, pruning shears, watering can and lawn mower all have very different uses and outcomes. In turbulent times it’s exactly this appropriate use of a wide range of tools that teams need from leaders and managers. One tool does not fit all - it’s actually dangerous and harmful. What tool will you get out of the potting shed today - and don’t worry if you have to look up how to use it - it’s better than sticking to the same tool because you know how it works. Join me for my webinar Landscaping your teams in turbulent times next Tuesday 19th May to gain additional insight as we explore this metaphor further. You can also sign up for my Landscaping Your Life ezine and newsletter here. hashtag

What seeds are you sowing today?

What seeds are you sowing today - and do they contain the potential for your flourishing and the flourishing of this wonderful planet of ours and all it’s inhabitants?

Insight from the moon

Last night’s full moon is hidden behind cloud and yet .. It’s beauty is reflected in those very clouds, in the sea and the beach. Which has me thinking that when it’s cloudy and turbulent that it’s too easy to believe that no one will notice nor be impacted by our shine and therefore we give up and don’t even bother. Isn’t it however precisely in the darker times that light is needed even if reflected rather than directly seen? Do your thing, be unapologetically you and shine your light - it might just be what someone needs in a moment of darkness.

The previous night the insight had been a little different which is why I love nature so much it just keeps on giving.

Look at the reflection of moonlight on water and you’ll notice as you move so does the reflection - that is the reflection is actually a relationship between you and the moon not the moon and the water. Next time you judge another consider the reflection you’re seeing is about you not the other.

Look up to the sky

Look up to the sky and what do you see - my first vlog in a wetsuit from the garden! I heard Astronaut Ron Garan interview with One Young World yesterday where he spoke of using ‘planet’ not ‘globe’ to describe this wonderful place we all call home. Which then translates well known phrases into a ‘planetary pandemic’ or ‘planetary warming’ which feels different don’t you think? I’m sure this insight was at the back of my mind as I headed to my garden in my wetsuit this morning (as the RNLI have asked us not to swim). Look up to the sky and what do you see? Does the sky look different between all our viewpoints? Do the noisy birds flying through it’s many layers judge one part of it to another? Is one part of the sky more or less important than another? Are we the sky? Are we all parts of it? And perhaps because I joined David Whyte session this weekend on the courage of poetry I’ll end with a poem (of sorts). The sky Surrounding the whole planet Holding us safely within its embrace Trusting us with a precious gift A planet With riches and beauty For us to hold and treasure within our own embrace, and Use the trust wisely. hashtag

I've written a blog on that for Unprecedented times

Over recent weeks, as I've delivered "soft skills and mindsets for unprecedented times" sessions, I have been heard to say "I've written a blog on that" - with over 500 posts on the purchasing coach blog and 200 here you'd like to hope so. 

Here's a list of just some of those very posts that I think would be helpful as we face what were unimaginable situations only a few short weeks ago.

• Lessons from a Sycamore tree - about needing to bolster your foundations for your roots to hold on to.

• Commit to shorter steps - don't give up on your goal just know that the steps we can take at the moment are just shorter or will be making the stepping out much easier when we can do so.
• I don't believe it's raining - a reminder to test the evidence we're using to inform our beliefs.
• Beware building reflected bridges with others rather than real one - now more than ever we need to ensure the bridges we build with others are solid ones.
• 7 keys to a buzzing life - a few hints and tips from the bees about how to keep motivated and enthused.

• The wave - my favourite short story I've written about a wave.
• The stone - another short story about the impact of being off kilter!
• The power of metaphor - interesting applying the insight from Brexit to our current situation.
• Going round in circles - and how to stop it!
• How to have full impact - WOW interesting to apply the insight to having personal impact on our well-being 
• How to see the wood for the trees 
• Is it time to get your head above the parapet - rather than keep it in the sand? 

An index of more logical and less unconventional posts to support mental, physical and emotional well being can be found over on my Purchasing Coach blog.

You may also find this Landscaping Your Life YouTube playlist helpful using nature as our coach  - turn the sound down a little for the first vlog ;-)

Also see my LinkedIn profile for an extract from Can't see the wood for the trees - Landscaping your life to get back on track to help you see the wood at these unprecedented times.

Do let me know if something I've written resonates - and do please also share this index with others who you think might benefit.

If you'd like to be kept up to date with what I'm up to you can sign up for my newsletter here - the Easter newsletter entitled the death of normal is now available.

Commit to shorter steps

As paths we’re able to travel feel shorter and shorter with every passing day please don’t give up on the destination.

Commit instead to awareness in shorter steps.

Celebrate your ability to spend time finessing your sense of direction and to sense and trust that inner compass.

A beautiful sunrise and a lesson in patience

Blow those cobwebs away!

Mind or body. Which do you listen to most often?

Mind or body. Which do you listen to most often?

I was on a retreat a couple of weeks ago. My mind was not calling the shots of constant busyness, emails, and much more.

My body had nutritious food, daily exercise, stretching, massages, and rest. Oh, and sun, sea, and fresh air too.

No to-do list, no emails and not even any business planning or development for the mind to be distracted by.

Since coming home, I’ve made a commitment to not allow my mind to ignore the very structure upon which it depends. No skipped meals because I’m busy; no rushing straight into the office before I’ve even given my body some movement; and no mindless shoving food in between one activity and the next and calling that a meal!

So, do you listen to your mind or to your body?

Is their head in the sand?

“How do I get their head out of the sand?”
It’s a question I get asked about colleagues, team members, partners, friends and family, and it’s asked in relation to situations they believe could be improved if only the other person would accept there was a problem, and take appropriate action to resolve it.

It’s also a question asked when they believe they know what the solution is.
There’s a fundamental flaw in this perspective - the person, like me in the photo above, has to take their own head out of the sand.

We might encourage them but, ultimately, the decision is theirs. Which means there’s only so much we can do.
In some respects it’s what 'Can’t see the Wood for the Trees' was written for - to help people a little resistant to hearing advice from others, just like myself, to get out of a rut, stop treading water or going round in circles and to see the wood for the trees and get back on track. (Hint it’s available from all online stockists.)
One word of warning, it’s certainly easier to notice that others have their head in the sand than ourselves - which means when we’re getting frustrated with others it might be a red flag of our own lack of awareness and need for action.
hashtahashtag

I'm speechless...or I've become one of those authors

Wow - I’m still a little speechless (and you know me; that’s not often).

Here’s why.

20 years ago I can remember buying all the many books on the reading list for my trainer training. 

I remember looking up to those authors whose tools and techniques were making a difference in people’s lives. Admiring their creativity and authority in a subject that has the ability to transform lives.

At the time I introduced a coaching tool of my own and over the last 20 years have used it with many clients. I even wrote a book sharing the process so other coaches and trainers could use it in their work, and to provide a resource for people to dip into and read a few pages when they were struggling - a little TLC and support when they needed it.

Since its publication nearly a year ago, I’ve heard stories of people’s lives being positively impacted by the book.

Recently I heard that my book has been added to one trainer's reading list, and used as a source for some of the training content.

I have become one of those authors I admired and that has given me goosebumps.

When did you last reflect on the journey you’ve been on and the achievements realised that once upon a time were only a dream?

Thyme Management

Yesterday's theme for the Landscaping Your Life (LYL) launch was Landscaping Your Time Management.

And as one of the additional insights from 6 hours of driving to get to 'climb' a mountain yesterday was,

Don't make life so blinkin' difficult! 

I realised I didn't need to find time to travel today as I had some thyme on my doorstep - as you'll see on the Facebook Live I did at 0730 BST this morning.

Managing time is something I know many of us grapple with. Whether that grappling is about how to fit more into our day, or how to manage our emails. It’s why today I’m going to explore the similarities between managing Thyme and managing time ;-). 

When growing thyme we accept that there’s a sequence of events that happens from seed selection and purchase, via pot preparation, seed sowing, watering, warmth, germinating, more watering, growing, planting out, sunshine, watering, growing, sunshine, watering, pruning, weeding, sunshine, and finally harvesting. A sequence where there will be limited success if key activities are bypassed, or we’re certainly not going try to do all the watering at the same time either – little and often is key.

When sowing thyme seeds we understand not every seed will germinate, and even for those that do not every seed will flourish. Further more, some seedlings may need to be pricked out to allow others to flourish without fear of being strangled as there’s only space for so many plants. In other words, to have a beautiful crop of thyme we don’t put the same care and attention into every seed. We nurture and pay attention to those that are showing signs of growth and potential, leaving those that aren’t in the soil.

We also know to focus on one activity until we’re done. No jumping from weeding one plant, opening our thyme seed packet, composting some leaves, digging a hole for a tree, mowing half the lawn, getting the pots ready for us to scatter our seeds into, planting the tree and then scattering the seeds. If we did we might find the seeds have scattered themselves in the process, and I can just imagine the state of the garden, shed, greenhouse and ourselves with all the jobs half done and variety of tools left mid activity scattering themselves like seeds across the ground – as health hazards and, if left for too long, getting rusty in the process. (See In the potting shed in the LYL ezine for more on tool maintenance.)

Timing is key too – what ever season the seeds arrive there’s a time to sow the seeds that will yield a better crop. You’re certainly not going to try to sow seeds individually every moment of every day throughout the year allowing that activity to get in the way of other activities such a planning, weeding, feeding, composting and sowing other crops. Even if the head gardener sent the seeds you still wouldn’t sow them until the conditions were just right. Something the head gardener would understand and expect too.

As the seedlings develop they require care and attention – planting out, watering, weeding, feeding and even pruning as they grow. There’s a level of proaction and planning needed to get this right. You certainly don’t wait till you remember to water them, nor till you’ve got the time to water them.  Instead you plan time daily to check them. You may also check the weather forecast and plan to plant the seedlings out into the ground when the conditions are favourable rather than on a cold, wet and windy day.

Which results in the following 10 keys to thyme management

Which of these can you focus on today to support effective time management? 

Landscaping Your Life is just one of the tools I use in behavoural skills coaching and training helping individuals and teams to tap into their inner wisdom to achieve their goals. Do get in touch if you'd like to understand more about how I can help you, or your team alison@landscapingyourlife.co.uk

Alison Smith
Landscaping Your Life to get back on track
Using nature as our coach, nature's landscapes as metaphors for our lives.

You can sign up for the Landscaping Your Life ezine here, or find out a little more about it here.

Mountains of Potential

I’ve recently had a TV fest of watching some wonderful programmes on feats of daring with respect to climbing mountains whether that’s watching Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson climb Yosemite’s El Capitan’s dawnwall (Netflix), or following Steve Backshall and team on a mission to climb a remote and unclimbed mountain deep in Greenland’s arctic wilderness (BBC).

I suspect like many people the mountains I climb will continue to be metaphorical (until a new knee has arrives anyway), and in this article I’m going to explore what we can learn from those who do climb mountains that can be applied to the every day mountains in our lives.

Setting goals

Very rarely do we hear of people climbing mountains they hadn’t intended to. A hill possibly, but a mountain requires that a goal be set so that appropriate planning and preparation takes place. Not least, that on the day in question we’re starting off from the bottom of the correct mountain.

No laissez faire going with the flow “let’s see what happens”. Which is certainly easy to do in our lives, despite that often precluding us scaling those larger mountains of our full potential.

Preparation

No mountaineer or climber set off without preparation.

Preparation that might include – researching what others have done, developing a plan, doing a reconnaissance, assessing current skills versus those needed to succeed, practicing and training, buying the gear needed, gathering a team together and developing trust of those you’re going to be doing it with, forecasting for when the conditions would be most favourable to succeed, and so on.

Preparation not only improves the likelihood of success but also reduces the risk of injury or even worse.

(The Garden Design - preparing the site article in the LYL ezine will help with preparation) 

Motivation

One common feature on the programmes I watched was how close they came to giving up.

Not giving up before they started, once they’d set out. More often than not because the climb was harder than even they could imagine. Unless they could tap into why they were doing it they’d have given up. Instead the motivation meant they gritted their teeth, dug deep and kept on going one step or hand hold at a time.

Lack of motivation is certain why many of us fail to achieve our goals – because the expected pleasure and success is not big enough to counter the pain felt to get there. It’s as if at the first hurdle we turn round forgetting why we wanted to get there in the first place.

(The Buzzing with Life article in the LYL ezine will help with motivation) 

Taking action

“Momentum is your friend” said Steve Backshall

That is, once preparation is complete; the team has been chosen and conditions are right, there’s no more holding back, no time for procrastination. Just one step at a time headed for a goal you know why you want to achieve.

Route

Part of planning will include deciding on the best route to get to the summit. On the day, however, diversions may be required. It’s where preparation and training kick in, providing us with the know how and confidence to take an alternate route to get around the roadblock ahead.

Celebrate

Once you’ve climbed the mountain and have a 360 panoramic view from the summit it’s time to celebrate. Whilst on the programmes I watched celebration involved tears and hugs that’s not a necessity – simply some time to celebrate and reflect on the achievement.

Which is where the article in the LYL ezine finished. 

As part of the Landscaping Your Life launch this week I've scheduled to visit a number of landscapes to share the process in the moment.

With arthritic knees climbing mountains is harder to achieve but where there's a will, and so we headed for Fort William and the Nevis Range, and took a Gondola to 650m and then walked a another 20 minutes to the Sgurr  Finnisg-Aig 663m viewpoint. 

Whilst up there I did a FaceBook live - which was a little blowy where I started to share some of the insights which included:

Aim higher 

We'd thought we'd go to Glencoe but due to bad weather, and a realisation is wasn't that much further we drove past and ended up at Aonach Mor. This mountain had the potential to climb higher, see further and more easily ie to get up Glencoe would have been by open ski lift, and as the weather closed in not a wonderful experience. On Aonach Mor, over looking Ben Nevis, we traveled up in the comfort of a gondola.

Isn't that the case in life - we aim for what we think will be easier, and yet aiming higher could turn out to be easier in the long run!!

The outlook depends on which direction you're looking 

To me, focusing on one of these directions makes the situation look very grey and dismal, another direction looks like hard work and no play, and the other much more inviting and motivating.

If I want to climb a mountain in future I know what direction I need to focus on to keep me motivated.

That said, you can't look out at the beautiful view as you walk - it can only act as a motivation and goal to get to the summit.

Don't chase your shadow, or allow it to chase you

As I walked I caught sight of my shadow on the ground, and found it hard to see the boulders and rocks I was needing to navigate around.

Which felt like a reminder not to get caught up on the "this won't work"s or "I can't do this"s but to just keep moving one step at a time.

And additional insight from the shadow was:
   

Shadow is only available when there's sun!

What mountain do you want to climb, and which of the above criteria for success do you need to address to move getting to the summit from a dream to a reality?

Landscaping Your Life is just one of the tools I use in behavoural skills coaching and training helping individuals and teams to tap into their inner wisdom to achieve their goals. Do get in touch if you'd like to understand more about how I can help you, or your team alison@landscapingyourlife.co.uk

Alison Smith
Landscaping Your Life to get back on track
Using nature as our coach, nature's landscapes as metaphors for our lives.

You can sign up for the Landscaping Your Life ezine here, or find out a little more about it here.

Whilst up the mountain I also explored further solutions for when you can't see the wood for the trees - to support solutions we've obviously covered previously here. 

  

The book, Can't see the Wood for the Trees, is available from all online stockists.

Landscaping Your Life Launch

The origins of Landscaping Your Life (LYL) date back to the late 90s when I used gardens as metaphors for our lives. Whilst I later expanded it to include all of nature’s landscapes not just gardens we’re going back to LYL’s origins this week.

As Chelsea Flower Show shares the best in garden design we're going to be our own garden designers designing aspects of our lives so that we may flourish and share our beauty for all to see 🌸.

Join me daily for vlogs, blogs, posts and insights as I visit different landscapes and explore many aspects of landscaping your life and specifically:

• Mon 20th: Landscaping your potential
• Tues 21st: Landscaping your time
• Wed 22nd: Buzzing with life
• Thurs 23rd: Landscaping your relationships
• Fri 24th: Taking a landscaping your life journey
• Sat 25th: Landscaping your success

I do hope you can join me as I finally allow the Landscaping Your Life seed to germinate, and plant it out into the garden for all to benefit from its insight. 

Alison Smith
Head Gardener
Landscaping Your Life - making life more beautiful

The Wave

Yesterday, for mental health awareness week, I shared a story about condor.

Today’s subject is The Wave - because we all have mental health.

The Wave

Love was a wave and she was a very lonely wave. She had traveled the globe in search of something more than the life she had. Surely there must be more to life than rising and falling and being dictated to by the bright glowing circle in the sky. She’d tried to ask other waves if they felt the same as her, but they never stayed around long enough to give her an answer. From watching them she thought they looked satisfied enough.The sounds they made when the wind whipped them against the cliffs in far flung places certainly sounded like enjoyment to her. Although she did wonder about that having never had the courage to actually have a go herself. Instead she chose to hang back and watch as other waves moved forward and took the momentum. She had tried to change her shape like some waves in order that she may take the surfers into her very centre and yet she hung back scared of hurting them. She’d also tried to do that thing with the air to make her very edges all white and foamy. But she withdrew fearing she’d not be able to go back to how she was. She envied those waves who had the confidence to carry large ships towards their destination in their wake.

It was on one such day when she’d really had enough with herself. She really was useless she felt and couldn’t do anything all the other waves could. Either she didn’t have the courage, the experience, or the expertise. She also didn’t have any wave to ask questions and share it all with. 

It was in this heavy and depressing mood that she felt herself dragged down. Dragged deeper than she’d ever been before. Deeper, darker, colder. If she had felt fear in the past it was nothing to how she felt now. Down and down she went, deeper, darker, colder. Her thoughts slowed right down, as if time itself was starting to move into slow motion. Deeper, darker, colder.

Until she finally came to a stop. She couldn’t see anything; she couldn’t feel anything, and she was struggling to think anything. She realised she was very tense and tried very hard to relax and allow some space between every fiber of her being. As she did this, she realised that she felt a little better. As a result she continued trying this type of relaxing for the next few … well she didn’t really know what they were really …they could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days or even weeks, all we can say is that as time passed, she felt lighter. She practised very hard allowing space in between every fibre of her being. She couldn’t do it all at once. She had to pick some part of her and concentrate very hard on that part and just breath and allow space inside. It was as if, part by part, she was getting lighter and brighter and...was it her imagination or was she feeling a little warmer too?

What she found, however, was as soon as she started to wonder about what was happening, how it was happening, and try to make it go quicker, she started to feel the cold, she started to emanate less light. Each time she then had to take a breath and start all over again. Slowly working her away around each part of herself. Over time she was able to hold on to this lighter and brighter state for longer. She found she didn’t have to concentrate quite so hard and could still manage to maintain this lighter and brighter state.

Finally, she managed to be the lighter and brighter state. It was as if she had changed. It was if she was no longer the wave trying to be brighter, trying to be lighter she was simply a bright and light wave. She puzzled over this for some time. She still felt like she was still herself, but she somehow knew she was different. The added brightness and added lightness had in some way changed her.

Of course, what she had failed to notice was that once she was this different state she had also started to rise. Until finally when she neared the surface and noticed her own lightness reflected in the water around her. She came to the surface and took a deep breath and allowed the rays of the sun to warm her. She looked around her and could see many waves all with the same lightness and same brightness as her. She felt an acceptance from them that she had never felt before. An acceptance for who she was and not what she could or couldn’t do.

She stayed with the other waves for many moons. She did many things she’d never tried before.  She especially enjoyed the rushing into caves and being dragged back out with the momentum of those around her. She even had time to perfect the tender holding of surfers as they danced within her very self.

One day after such an exciting day she started to feel different. She started to feel even brighter and even lighter. As if even the very binds that were holding every part of her together were being pulled gently apart. Having been in the deep, dark and cold place before she didn’t consider this scary and even felt some excitement about what was happening. Consequently, she simply allowed the transformation to take place. Until it was as if she was everything and everywhere all at the same time. There was certainly more ease, even more light and bright just wasn’t the word for it. She just was and realised of course that she had always been all that there is: LOVE.

Alison Smith

Landscaping Your Life

My first Landscaping Your Life book, Can't see the wood for the trees, has been described by one reader on Amazon as "first aid kit for the brain".  To find out more about the book see this post, you can buy it from all online stockists all listed here.

Our Mental Health is like the Sea

As Mental Health Awareness Week comes round again the above video shares insight from the sea relating to our mental health.

As those at Headtorch remind everyone at their conferences, workshops and elearning the answer to "How many of us have mental health" is

Yes, we ALL have mental health, not just on bad days, not just when we’re feeling down, not just when we’re off work.

Every minute of every day of every year we have mental health - 100% of the time, 100% of us.

Mental health, that just like our physical health shifts up and down a continuum. Which means there’s different strategies needed to support our mental health dependent on where we’re at in any moment. Sometimes the strategy involves visiting the doctor, other times medication, other times talking, a walk, painting, the gym, time with friends or in nature, writing 😉 and so on. As many different strategies for mental health as there are for physical health.

Mental health awareness week is an opportunity for us ALL to consider what we can do to support our own, friends’, family’s, and colleagues’ mental health.

In previous years I’ve shared here insight from Headtorch’s conferences, explored what we can do to support suppliers’ mental health over on the Purchasing Coach blog, and written about strategies for taking care of my own mental health, and even the menopause, a time that significantly impacted my mental health.

This year I thought I’d share some short stories I’ve written. Short stories that explore different aspects of our own mental well being. Not at the very edges of the mental health continuum but of the every day thoughts and beliefs that impact our mental health. They're short stories I originally wrote as a means of reminding myself of the need to support my own mental health.

Short stories I hope you’ll enjoy - catch them when they start here tomorrow.

And just a reminder - save the date - 19th May