The Celebration of Adulthood

Today’s story for mental health awareness week is entitled The Celebration of Adulthood - because we all have mental health.

The Celebration of Adulthood

Four times a year the elders come together to reflect on the strengths and abilities of all those who are to celebrate their coming of age. At the meeting the elders consider the behaviours and attitudes they have seen demonstrated by the youngsters who are soon to move into adulthood. It is out of this reflection that an adult name for each of those celebrating their adulthood appears.

One time the conversation surrounding one youngster had been lengthy. She had not been without her advocates who sang her praises. However, many elders where concerned with her continual resistance and suggested names such as Stickler and Barri (short for Barrister as some felt they were on trial when with her). Her advocates argued that her resistance was just a means of her exploring the world and questioning the reason for all things. After all, hadn’t they all been taught in the tales as youngsters that truth and knowing only came from truly understanding for oneself, rather than just accepting what they had been told. Didn’t this youngster just feel the need to understand everything for herself, her continual questioning was simply as a result of that. The discussion went on for many hours with many suggestions for a name being made and rejected. Finally, it was decided that some of the elders would spend some time with the youngster in the week prior to the celebration and trusted that clarity over an appropriate name would arise from this.

The first elder to spend time with the youngster was Earnest. He observed the youngster playing with her friends. He noticed that she was very accepting of even the slower youngsters. She spent time helping, supporting and encouraging them. However, she became easily frustrated with her own endeavours if they failed to meet her own very high expectations of herself. It was as if anything she did wasn’t good enough for her. Although, of course, she was the only one who thought this.

The second elder was Journey. She observed the youngster at a community meeting. Journey knew the youngster to have many views on the subject being discussed. Journey was therefore very surprised to see the youngster withdraw and not express these views. She spoke with the youngster about what she had observed, and asked why she had not expressed her views. The youngster explained that she felt the opinions being expressed by others were very different to her own and that her words would not be understood. She even felt that she would be ridiculed for her opinions because they were that different. Journey helped her understand that if she had expressed her opinions, it might have helped move the meeting into a different space. Specifically, that her questions may have brought more light into the situation.

The third elder was Mountaine. She spent time with the youngster observing her in class. The class had been asked to work together to publish the next edition of the community newsletter. The youngster never sat still. She was continually on the move. One minute asking if her help was needed over here, the next over there, and the next somewhere else instead. If she was asked to do something she couldn’t sit still for very long. Mountaine knew the behaviour well as it had been her lesson many years before. Mountaine had herself always been on the move and could identify with the desire to never stop. She had felt that if she stayed where she was and just did what she’d been asked, that she’d miss something. She always felt that there was something better to be done, something that could use her talents better, and therefore continually searched for that illusive something. Mountaine had found over time that if she stayed with the task in hand that her skills were fully utilised. If she was needed somewhere else, she discovered that would be made clear to her without the continual need for her to search.

The final elder to spend time with the youngster was Thuse (derived from enthusiasm). Thuse spoke to the youngster about a project she was completing for her end of year exams at school. The youngster had written a plan for the project’s completion. Whilst discussing the plan, it became clear that the youngster was frustrated. She had been unable to keep to the plan. After she had made the first step it was if what the second and third steps should be became clearer. Unfortunately, these steps did not reflect those on the plan. The youngster was very frustrated and wondered why she should plan at all. Thuse explained that planning was a useful process to assist in identifying where you wanted to go and what resources you needed to get there. It was also particularly useful in identifying what the first step should be. However, Thuse explained once the first step had been made plans may need to be flexible to meet the changing circumstances that taking the first step brought up.

When the elders met the night before the celebration the four elders who had spent time with the youngster told of their encounters. They could see that she did much for others and fully loved and accepted them as they were. What they had noticed was she failed to give herself this same level of consideration. Finally, they concluded that they wished to give her a name that would be a reminder to her, a reminder to accept her own uniqueness, a reminder to love and accept herself exactly as she was. As a consequence, the name they gave her on that wonderful day as she moved into adulthood was Florence.

As the youngster moved into adulthood she grew into a beautiful and wise woman and whenever Florence heard others call for her she was reminded of the elders’ words to her.  “We name you Flo (rence) to remind you to accept your own uniqueness and to follow the flow of your own path. Do not follow or compare yourself with others because they have different paths to follow. Remember the bird can fly but not burrow, and the rabbit can burrow and not swim, and the fish can swim but not fly like the birds. Each of these are beautiful and loved for who they are. You do not wish the bird to be anything other than a bird and so do not wish yourself to be anything different than what you are.”

Alison Smith

Landscaping Your Life

Previous stories shared so far this week have included; The Right Path, The Wave, The Stone, and The Caterpillar.

My first Landscaping Your Life book, Can't see the wood for the trees, has been described by one reader on Amazon as "first aid kit for the brain". To find out more about the book see this post- you can buy it from all online stockists all listed here.