Are you finding life an uphill struggle?

This post has moved to my new website - see more on how to get back on track when life feels like an uphill struggle here.

When all else fails - try metaphor

Whilst metaphor is my go to coaching tool when wanting to help client's find a solution to their problems, I realise for many it's only something to be considered when everything else has failed.

I'm hoping that you will agree that, so far as Brexit is concerned, you might be willing to try even the most unconventional of tools?

Logic is great at finding a solution so long as you can agree on the evidence and find a consensus on the best way forward. With Brexit, unfortunately, we’re getting very polarised views and, there in lies the issue, never shall the North and South Pole meet.

Neither pole wishing nor able to move its position for fear of the world ending as a result.

Logic regarding Brexit means:

• “I’m right and you’re most definitely wrong”
• “That won’t work”
• “We can’t do that”
• “This was never going to work”
• "You must be mad"
• and more.

In other words, logic is being used to reinforce our own viewpoint not find a solution to moving forward.

The more our own castle is attacked the more we defend its walls forgetting that a castle under siege eventually runs out of the ability to sustain those stuck within.

Which is where metaphor comes in – to allow time for solutions to be found outside the castle rather than using all our resources defending it.

In the book Can’t see the wood for the trees I use nature's landscapes as metaphors for our lives to help us turn a corner and get back on track. To leave the dark night of the soul behind, and as the sun rises walk forward with confidence into the new day. It's a process I've successfully used in personal and business contexts for over 20 years, and the process is called Landscaping Your Life.

Each chapter of the book invites us to explore the solution hidden within a saying we’re using when we're stuck. For example, if we can’t see the wood for the trees what would we do in a real wood that we could apply to the real life situation, or if it feels like we’re stuck in a rut how can we apply what we’d do to get out of a real rut to the predicament we’ve found ourselves in.

Which is where this post is headed – let’s explore what solutions we can discover as we visit each of the chapters of the book in turn.

I'm not going to directly draw analogies with Brexit for the reader - not least because it's better done after we've a lovely list of solutions or alternate perspectives. Additionally metaphor isn't a logical process that we can explain to someone else - it's something that simply allows us to relate to a situation differently and as a result understand additional and new options that were hidden from us previously.  

Which means those able to get the most from this exploration are the politicians - UK and European - who currently have us in the creek and rut, going round in circles whilst being lost in the wood!!  

Without further ado let's get on with it.

Stuck in a rut

The only way to get out of a rut is to step out of it – there’s no half way house – no sticking around hoping the rut will change or morph into something more favourable. It won’t - it’s a rut and action is required and it’s required by everyone.

Let’s commit to jointly taking action as we explore the other chapter headings.

Can’t see the wood for the trees

Currently it’s as if we’re all in different woods shouting across to other woods persuading those there of the bounty to be found if only they would walk across the divide, and refusing to move from our own wood. The problem with shouting across those distances is that no one can hear anyone else!

What happens if we shifted this belief, and accepted we are all in the same wood - what metaphorical solutions might we discover? After all, if we’re all in the same wood the level of energy required to persuade others to move has been significantly reduced. How much less stressful does that feel?

Perhaps we’d notice the different types of tree existing side by side providing diversity or sustainability of the wood for those relying upon it for their livelihood.

Or perhaps we’d be able to get the map out to understand where each of us stands within the wood, allowing us to find some common ground in between. Ground that connects with where we were, and where we all want to be in the future.

Maybe the solution will be found by taking to higher ground so that all can see the complex nature of the wood to truly understand how to make the most of all the resources it has to offer.

Or perhaps it's just about all getting out of the wood first, and regrouping and deciding where to go from there once we can see the wood.

Or something else entirely.

No right or wrong just a metaphor allowing us to see the situation from a different perspective without the logic, facts and data that thus far have stopped us achieving agreement to the best way forward.

Let’s visit another saying, another landscape and another metaphor. Allowing the insight already gained to be added as new insight emerges.

Up a creek without a paddle

If we're up a creek without a paddle there are multiple options out of this predicament.

Perhaps that’s all the insight we need. A belief that there is a solution or even solutions to get us back in the flow. Solutions that thankfully don’t necessitate finding the old paddle, as I suspect that’s long gone off down the river and away well out of reach.

In the book one strategy includes; stopping (no panic, no flapping around), then putting our life jacket on so that we can review our end destination from a position of health rather than life and death fear of drowning, or fear of getting even more off course.

Once we've decided where we want to go we then gather guides and fellow travellers to travel with us. Followed by getting the map out and using our compass to plot a course away from the creek and back into the flow. More on this strategy in the post from the archives.

The insight being there’s a sequence of events that’s needed – it’s no use pushing forward until we've taken the risk of drowning away, no use either gathering guides and travellers if we’ve not agreed where we’re headed because guides have very specific skills and are best chosen when we know what terrain they need to be experts in.

Each saying potentially adding to the abundance of solutions, or just one saying providing the precise insight you need at this time.

Like a fish out of water

Shouting at a fish telling it that it will feel better once it’s got used to its new environment is not at all helpful. A fish will die if left out of water for too long. The aim has to be to ensure the environment in which we find ourselves allows for all of our survival.

Of course alternate water courses are available but planning is required to move from one to the other. We certainly shouldn’t be surprised if fish start dying if we push on disregarding how long we’re expecting the fish to survive out of water.

Some sayings more or less appropriate for the situation we're facing - in the book we suggest picking just one saying that best reflects how you're feeling and just reading that chapter. 

Out on a limb

We’re not out on a limb if we can go back to where we started – we’re only out on a limb when the only option is to let go and drop to the ground.

Yet we often hang on for dear life fearing what’s ahead and yet knowing the only option is to let go. To trust we can survive the drop, to trust in our ability to take the appropriate action once we can see what lies ahead.

I suppose the key here is understanding whether we're really out on a limb, or if we have an option to come back from the edge and reevaluate the best means of getting where we want to go to.

Going round in circles

Of course we can get this far and circle back and revisit the wood, rut, creek or limb wondering if we made the right decision. Questioning the twists and turns that got us to where we are.

The key is to stop the circling – to try something different – whether that’s to change direction, to circle wider or narrower or even spiral or square in order to shift the impasse of the constant circling.

“Not this again” should be the battle cry to try something different not the alarm to keep circling in the hope that something will change.

A great strategy here is to try walking the circle you're going around in - physically on the ground - and noticing what you notice when you try making changes to the circle. More here.

Missed the tide

It’s never too late – never. There’s always another tide – who knows perhaps the high high tide of tomorrow will be better than the low high tide of yesterday.

The key is in recognising the patterns of the tide and preparing for the next one not bemoaning the tide that has long since gone.

Headed for the ocean

In the book the antidote for any predicament is to to head for the ocean - to not push against the tide but to go with the flow.

The key is in being able to recognise where the flow is, and to notice when we're pushing against it. To proactively make decisions to head for the ocean not to react and be at the influence of all the elements and other parties.

There’s two chapters I’ve not covered this far that may or may not provide additional insight - perhaps the insight that you needed was covered in another saying/chapter?

One chapter talks of making mountains out of molehills – it usually speaks of situations we’re making bigger than they actually are. 

I suspect Brexit was always a mountain and we were lulled into believing it was a molehill to be easily dealt with. Something to mull on perhaps for the future when facing a mountain without the appropriate map and gear to get to the top.

The other chapter is having our head in the sand and is self explanatory about what the solution is - even if often we don't realise that it's us who has the head in the sand rather than everyone else! 

(Don't ask!)

You may of course have had other insights about the solutions contained within the very sayings we use when we're stuck. That's the beauty of metaphor - we're each able to see the patterns that make most sense for us personally. 

The aim of using metaphor in this way is to allow our unconscious to nudge us to notice something we hadn't noticed thus far. Something that enables us to understand alternate options that exist - alternate options that allow us to venture away from the cold inaccessible poles and meet all parties somewhere in-between.

Wishing all involved in Brexit the insight needed to get back on track, to understand what's needed to walk away from the creeks, and ruts, and finally be able to see the wood for the trees.

Alison Smith

Landscaping your life to get back on track

Author of Can't see the wood for the trees - landscaping your life to get back on track available from all online stockists - more here.

Can't see the wood for the trees - vlog

A little more about the Can't See the Wood for the Trees book, aimed at helping you get back on track when you're unsure about what to do.

The Landscaping your Life book, Can't See the Wood for the Trees, uses the Landscaping Your Life process at times when you're stuck in a rut, up the creek without a paddle, feeling like a fish out of water, are treading water, or feel like you're going round in circles. Simply open the book, pick the chapter that resonates, and read that chapter. Available from all online stockists (Amazon UK here: https://amzn.to/2Ho6W8v).

Stuck in a Rut

If you're stuck in a rut - what happens if getting back on track simply required you to go and find a rut, step out of it, and as a result things had shifted enough for progress to now be made? 

How fantastic would that be?  

In a study in 2015 it was revealed that 69% of people feel suck in a rut - ie trapped in the same routine. 

That % feels a little high to me and yet, if you're reading this in the hope of some inspiration, the % doesn't really have any meaning because in your sample of 1 it's currently 100%?

When feeling stuck in a rut the biggest challenge is finding the motivation to break free of what ever is holding us back. There's numerous things we could be doing however, when we're stuck in a rut it's often hard to find the energy to think about what to do, never mind take the necessary action.

When we're feeling like this then using conventional thinking to resolve the situation can often make life harder not easier. Which is where unconventional tools come in. 

As you read the following unconventional suggestions just notice what you notice about how you're feeling and the relationship to that rut that had you wondering if this post may just help.

I shared in a previous post that you may simply need to stand in a real rut and step out of it. You'll also find more here on this Landscaping Your Life (LYL) vlog.

Other suggestions might include:

Playing around with the saying:

Absurdity helps shift our mindset so you may want to think about other twists on the saying:

• Stuck in a puddle
• Unstuck in a rut
• Stuck in a sparking water rut
• Dancing in a rut
• Not so stuck in a rut
• Getting less stuck in a rut
• and so on 

Or you may want to play around with the words:

You're simply allowing your mind to explore a route from stuck to back on track using the words.

Just the meditative exploration on it's own might enable you to release the internal blocks to making progress in this situation. 

If however, you relate to any of the following sayings more, you may want to follow the links and explore their solutions to getting you back on track: being a stick in the mud, unable to see the wood for the trees, needing to test the water, keeping your head above the water, stopping going around in circles (my personal favourite and so simple and effective), and needing to expand or step out of our comfort zone.

The solution may of course lie in identifying an antidote saying to tell yourself instead: 

• On track
• Back on track
• Getting back on track  
• In the flow
• Flowing 
• Plan sailing
• and so on 

Drawing the rut

Anything that might help shift the current state into a more resourceful one, providing you with more energy to take the necessary steps out of here. You may want to use more colours, better pictures, include the surrounding landscape, or even plot a map from where you were to where you want to be. 

What ever comes to mind, that however weird it may feel, may just be a nudge from your subconscious about where the solution can be found.

Make a collage of the rut or track to get back on to

In this collage the rut is no longer something to get stuck in but something to experience and flow through.  

Or perhaps the collage doesn't need to show the rut but what it represents, and the desire not to conform to any stereotypes!

Perhaps a little more unconventional than some ideas, and yet if it works then won't unconventional be worth it? More here on how I use collages in my coaching.

Going for a walk 

Walking in nature with a challenge at the back of your mind can be very insightful. More here from a LYL walk in nature, where flies flocking around a cow pat made for interesting insight!

You might for example see a bridge and realise you need to build or find a bridge to get from one side of the rut to the other! It's then a matter of taking that insight and understanding what that might look like in reality. Perhaps it's a bridge to other people to help you, or daily practices that stop you falling back into negative thinking, or a reminder you have everything you need and are making it more difficult than it needs to be. 

Nature isn't the only place to find inspiration - Street Wisdom uses the same concept applied to high streets, side street and boulevards in towns and cities where ever you live. That is, go for a walk and notice what you notice, and you may just find the solution you're searching for.

Or get even more absurd

Don't ask :-) 

No right or wrong, just ideas that may have already shifted the internal representation you had about the situation, enabling you to find alternative solutions to get you energised and back on track. 

As you reflect on the original situation what actions come to mind - what step do you need to take in the next 24 hours to enable you to get back on track? 

Alison Smith

Landscaping Your Life to get back on track 

Other posts written here or over on the Purchasing Coach blog that may also provide more conventional insight to get you back on track include:

• Prescription for positivity
• Momentum provides the motivation
• What's motivating your actions, or demotivating you

North Pole of Inaccessibility

I know at this time of year there's more interest in the North Pole where Santa lives, but I was intrigued when I heard about there being a North Pole of Inaccessibility. Not only that, there's also an expedition headed that way in February 2016 - for more see icewarrior's website.

The North Pole of Inaccessibility - what a great description. It describes a point that is remote due to its lack of proximity to any place of access - therefore making it the most difficult place to reach ie inaccessible (despite expeditions planning how to conquer it). It's a journey of over 1000 km (800 miles) to the loneliest place on the ice, and is about 450 km from the geographic North Pole.

I loved the description so much I wondered how I might use it, and the landscape is describes, when Landscaping Your Life (LYL) - a process that uses landscapes as metaphors for our lives.

There are many different processes in the LYL toolkit - one that comes to mind requires us to:

1. Envisage a landscape that depicts the current situation we're feeling stuck about,  
2. Envisage a landscape that depicts the desired outcome, (there is no right or wrong just what landscape comes to mind immediately, or intuitively)
3. Plot a course from one landscape to the other - ie what would you need to do to get from one to the other? Or another option is to identify what changes need to be made to the current landscape, and to imagine making those changes (warmer, colder, more colour, more greenery, more or less cloud or sun, louder or softer sounds etc). Either way we end up in a landscape that looks, feels and sounds different to the original stuck landscape.
4. Then, and only once steps 1-3 have been completed, consider what action is required to achieve your desired outcome in reality. That is you stay in the metaphor for as long as possible, and only think about the actual situation once you've explored the metaphor/landscape.

It may sound a little a lot weird, but it makes sense to your mind, and will enable links to be set up in your brain to bridge the gap between where you are, and what needs to happen to get where you want to be.

The only way to be sure about the efficacy of the process - is to try it for yourself. Coaching is available if you'd like some guidance the first time you use the process - see here for notes from a session to see how it worked with one client.

In this post I'd like to consider what happens if we choose the North Pole of Inaccessibility for either landscape when using the above process ie the landscape is used to describe either the current stuck state, or the desired outcome.

To do that think of a situation you'd like more clarity about, or want to feel more resourceful about, or that you currently feel stuck about. Notice how satisfied you feel about it on a scale of 0-10. Then decide whether the North Pole of Inaccessibility best describes your current situation, or the desired outcome. Don't worry about whether it logically makes sense, nor try to understand why the answer is what the answer is. Just go with what ever comes to mind - current or desired situation and then consider the following questions.

Desired outcome or goal 

Please note this post isn't about making something that feels like a 'walk in the park' into a 'North Pole of Inaccessibility' - please do stay in the park if that's the case.

That said I'm sure many goals can feel a little like we're trying to get to the North Pole of Inaccessibility - ie inaccessible and never achievable. It also explains why no progress is currently being made too - or at best it's slow progress. 

If you do feel stuck, and can relate to this metaphor then do read on. Remembering to stick with the metaphor for as long as possible - ie answer the questions from the perspective of your interpretation of the North Pole of Inaccessibility (keep logic out of it for now).

Questions to consider:

• Do others agree with you that it's inaccessible?
• Have others got there easily? If so it's not really that inaccessible - how did they achieve it?  
• Do you know without any doubt that there are no closer points of access?
• How can you make the journey easier - i.e. what resources do you need e.g. time, people, training, finance, equipment, maps, coach or guide and so on.
• What will you do when you get there?
• How long will you stay? 
• Where will you go when you get back? 
• Why do you want to go there - ie what's the benefit? 
• Does a different landscape, or description of the landscape best describes the situation

As ever notice what you notice, and take appropriate action that arises from that noticing.

I'm thinking the likely outcome of answering these questions is to either decide the desired outcome is better described by another landscape, or to know the outcome isn't as impossible as perhaps you were thinking it was. Although perhaps another option is to choose a different outcome having realised the current goal is superfluous to requirements?  

The process for developing well formed outcomes may help too - although I'd suggest you apply it to the real situation and not the North Pole. 

Current situation or state

If you're envisaging you're currently already at the North Pole of Inaccessibility then you may want to consider:

• You have already got here - so you have proved you do have the resources needed to get out, and there is a route out that you know.
• You've also proved you have the courage and determination needed to do anything.
• If it wasn't difficult to get here, then it's very unlikely to really be the North Pole of Inaccessibility - what happens if you change the landscape to truly reflect the current situation, or change the description of the landscape? 
• How can you make the return journey easier - i.e. what resources do you need e.g. time, people, training, finance, equipment, maps, coach or guide and so on.
• Is it inaccessible for you or for everyone? If just for you - how have others got away from here?
• Have you made it more inaccessible, and if so how can you make it more accessible?

Using metaphor to resolve issues in this way is very impactful. 

Other suggestions would be to make the saying absurd - the aim being to laugh out loud at the absurdity. This allows something to shift internally - allowing solutions to be found. What about considering:

• The North Pole of Accessibility
• The North Point of Inaccessibility
• The North Circle of Inaccessibility 
• The North Square of Inaccessibility or Accessibility
• The North Pole of Flexibility 
• The North Pole of Opportunity
• The North Pole of Solutions  
• The South Pole of Inaccessibility or Accessibility
• The West Pole
• The East Pole
• The Centre Pole 
• The Centre of the Earth Pole
• The Inaccessible Pole of the North
• The Accessible pole of the North
• and so on - just play with the words, and as you do the attachment and association to the less than helpful image will be released

Consider the original situation you wanted some insight on - how satisfied do you now feel about it 0-10, and what action can you take today towards achieving that desired outcome/goal. 

If you're still unsure about how to do this then here's notes from a coaching session using this saying. 

I'd love to hear how you got on as you read this post - whether you were intentionally applying it to a situation or not.

If you're intrigued by how Landscaping You Life processes may be able to help your organisation, team or you personally do get in touch - alison@alisonsmith.eu +44 (0)7770 538159. Or keep an eye out for forthcoming events.

Alison Smith
Landscaping Your Life
Inspiring change inside and out